“I will never let you go.”

Here to Mars – Coheed and Cambria

“Hey, stranger

Been a long while since I’ve loved you or anything

How the times have changed

Distorted, a figure set in trend, emotionless

And the words lose all their means

(Goodbye, lost and long forgotten)

Discouraged might be the term you choose when you look

Looking for an excuse

My company has gone mute

Since listening isn’t my strongest suit

I’m leaving you with this here, okay?

Over and out there

Honey, it’s in the stars

And you’re my everything from here to Mars

And every word I say I truly mean

Dear darling, I hope I’m being clear

Cause there’s no one like you on Earth

That can be my universe

Understood, give me a second chance

I know I could be your better half

Pardon me, I think I’m going

Out of my head and into the worst

A world without your verse

A world without you hurts

Please, I’m sorry

I will never let you go

It’s in the stars

And you’re my everything from here to Mars

And every word I say I truly mean

Dear darling, I hope I’m being clear

Cause there’s no one like you on Earth

That can be my burning star

And you’re my everything from here to Mars

And every word I, and every word I mean

Dear darling, I hope I’m being clear

Cause there’s no one like you on Earth

That can be my universe”

I’m gonna go ahead and reinstitute Music Mondays. Though I probably won’t do them every Monday. For my first one of the year I’m going with perhaps the most important song for me from 2015.

My favorite band in the world is Rush. I love Rush more than I love most people in the world. My second favorite band is Coheed and Cambria. This past October Coheed dropped their album The Color Before the Sun. The second single leading up to its release was Here to Mars. Coheed frontman and lyricist, Claudio Sanchez, writes in fantasy. This song is a love song for his wife, but it’s also a space odyssey love ballad. In Claudio’s words, the distance from here to Mars “…might as well be infinity. My love for her is ever-expanding.”

Aw.

The reason this song is important to me is that it sort of brought me back to faith. Sort of.

In the summer of 2015 I was starting to get serious about returning to my old ways regarding the Church. I’ve always been on fire for my faith, but depression, anxiety, and loneliness had taken that away from me almost entirely. I wasn’t receiving Holy Communion… ever really. Mostly because I wasn’t going to confession. In the summer I began making trips to the confessional again. In mid-July I had a terrible experience with a confessor who basically told me to stop coming to him for confession. I guess he was mad that I was confessing the same things. (At the time, and still today but to a lesser degree, I was dealing with a lot of anger and apathy) After that I didn’t go to confession for over a month. I didn’t go until Here to Mars came out.

I was jamming to the track in my car one day. In the bridge of the song there’s a musical break with a vocal track in the back of the mix which says, “I will never let you go.” I was singing that part at the top of my lungs when I started crying. I realized, as stupid as it was to do, I was singing this dumb prog rock love ballad to G-d. I made the realization, stopped crying, started laughing at myself for how stupid that moment was, and then sat there smiling realizing that the thing I had prayed for, having a heart for The Lord again, was beginning to happen.

Up to that point I hadn’t had a personal moment with Christ in years. In the past I would have these moments all the time in Mass, adoration, prayer, service. But by the summer of 2015 I had almost forgotten what that felt like. Sitting in my car listening to Coheed and Cambria I felt in love with my G-d again and it inspired me to return to confession and to the Mass. I’ve been getting better at it ever since.

So here you go, Internet. The first Music Monday of the year. What are y’all listing/crying to these days?